wedding attendance

this isn’t such an easy decision…

i just received a phone call from a past student’s fiancé. here is the situation:

i have known this student for about 8 years. i used to teach his sunday school class when he was a wee little lad, then later taught him through his high school years. upon graduation this student began to make some poor decisions. the chiefest of which was moving in with his girlfriend and moving out of state (and lying to me about it when asked). now he is getting married to his girlfriend and has invited me to the wedding.

here’s the dilemma – do i attend the wedding? is my attendance at the wedding condoning his actions and behavior, or simply showing that i love him and will help him when difficulties arise (as i know difficulties will arise). part of me says, “don’t go” so that he knows that i am not in support of his decision, but then i wonder who he will call or where he will turn when things go south. the other part of me says, “attend, but let him know that you are there because you love him and will be there for him when things go awry.” i have not encountered this decision before, but i think i am leaning toward the latter.

let’s get this started!

so here we go! this is #1 in what hopefully will be a long list of posts and comments.

as i sit here typing, i’m with my family in our bonus room with princess bride playing on the television. i marvel at how differently girls and boys are as i watch my son and my daughter react to the movie. maybe you remember the scene in the fire swamp where princess buttercup and wesley are attacked by the r.o.u.s. (rodent of unusual size). as this giant rat begins attacking wesley my daughter grabs the nearest pillow and covers her face. my son, on the other hand, teems with excitement which is evidenced by the various sound-effects and hand gestures he makes. i realize its the same with my wife and myself. as i open up photo booth on my macbook pro and look at the pictures i have of friends and family with warped and distorted faces (using the different filters, of course; not because my friends and family are warped looking!) my wife refuses to look. i can’t stop laughing, though. God is so good for creating us differently. reading in Genesis i see just where the difference lies: adam was made from dirt while eve was formed from flesh. unfortunately this difference results in conflict some of the time. but don’t worry, God knows what He’s doing.

i was able to catch up with an old friend over lunch a couple weeks ago and we landed on this topic. he said he has been having a hard time adjusting to married life, wondering if he’s compatible with his wife. i told him marriage is where you find out just how incompatible you are. but that’s the great thing, you see! i’d hate to be married to someone just like me. i would drive me nuts. even more than that, i’d be incomplete. romans 5:3 says that we can “glory in tribulation.” what? glory? yep. you see, no matter what trial or difficulty comes your way today you can glory in it, appreciate all of it, have peace through it. i believe the key to this is in verse 1, “having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.” until you have peace with God, you can’t have real peace with your spouse. until peace with God comes, you can’t glory in tribulation and trial.

how do you come to have peace with God? through Jesus Christ. because He died for you, paying the price for the debt of your sin, you can have peace with God. all you need to do is begin a relationship with Him. ask Him to be your Lord and your Savior. give Him your heart. then, get to know Him. talk with Him throughout the day, read the Bible to learn more about His character. suddenly, all of those things that were difficult for you and weighing on you don’t seem to be so bad.

difficulty in your marriage? don’t go looking for the latest self-help book on marriage. look for Jesus. lack of contentment in your workplace? work for Jesus. tension in your friendship? seek Jesus. as you do, all other things fall into place.