this isn’t such an easy decision…
i just received a phone call from a past student’s fiancé. here is the situation:
i have known this student for about 8 years. i used to teach his sunday school class when he was a wee little lad, then later taught him through his high school years. upon graduation this student began to make some poor decisions. the chiefest of which was moving in with his girlfriend and moving out of state (and lying to me about it when asked). now he is getting married to his girlfriend and has invited me to the wedding.
here’s the dilemma – do i attend the wedding? is my attendance at the wedding condoning his actions and behavior, or simply showing that i love him and will help him when difficulties arise (as i know difficulties will arise). part of me says, “don’t go” so that he knows that i am not in support of his decision, but then i wonder who he will call or where he will turn when things go south. the other part of me says, “attend, but let him know that you are there because you love him and will be there for him when things go awry.” i have not encountered this decision before, but i think i am leaning toward the latter.
Absolutely go. Not going seems like keeping a record of a wrong, and like a punishment, and that isn’t our job. Our call is to LOVE. And if you were against him living with someone outside of marriage he’s fixing that now!
Honestly, 100% in my opinion, no question. GO. Not attending, if this was the only reason, would send a message that could be very hurtful and feel awfully judgmental to someone who clearly wants your support and friendship.
Stopping now…
Hmm, this sounds a lot like what our Pastor has been speaking on about loving our enemy. We should not shun those that are doing something that is not of God’s liking, but rather be there for them in hopes that Gods light will shine through to them. Just pray, wait for His answer and follow what He tells you to do. Allowing the flesh/worldly ways/yourself lead you to what you should would most likely cause more problems. It sounds like this young man needs you, needs God. After all, what can it hurt?
Our God is a loving God. We are to exemplify who He is. God wishes for us to be Christ like. We all know that He will leave the 99 and go after that one stray/lost sheep. You’ll do fine. Just believe and go in Faith! It’s in His hands. May the Lord be with you and Bless you! Keep us posted!
Go with the latter Ben-ji. You know that I know that we know that dude is setting himself up for a mess. When it comes to that, we gotta be there. Going will show that there is still some love, not going will send the wrong message. He knows we don’t like what he’s doing (dude acknowledges it and knows).
Thanks P. I will be there, barring any catastrophes happening between now and then. Should I wear bowling shoes, though?
I was considering that as well. Right as they pronounce “husband and wife” we could yell “STRIKE!!!!” while getting one at the same time, heh.
Ben! It’s Jeremy Nehf from the SOM!! So good to see you on here and see what the Lord has been doing in your life lately. Your family looks great and you look aged (hahahah!!) Seriously, cool to see you on here. I don’t know how often you frequent this blog but I would love to make contact with you. Shoot me an email sometime nehfilim@gmail.com. God bless!!!
So, did you go?
Bo, I did go the the wedding. It was…. well… interesting. When we pulled in my daughter wondered what we were doing at the bowling alley. I explained to her we were there for a wedding, which she didn’t understand. “People don’t get married at bowling alleys!” I know, dear. The ceremony was about 10 minutes long. The part about ,”if anyone has a reason why these two shouldn’t be married” was quickly followed up with, “they don’t want to hear it”. Plenty of people were in opposition to the marriage, but were there to love them anyways. I walked away from the experience feeling like they were doing as they wish and tagging God on the side of it; from having a cross on the groom’s ring to a scripture read during the ceremony. I haven’t seen either of them since the wedding, but am hoping that my attendance with my family will open the doors to discussion with them in the future.